Many people spend their lives in the same circle of family and friends. But if you’re going to stretch outside your comfort zone and try new things, you’re going to have to go and meet new people. You’ll want to surround yourself with new people that share your goals and interests that you are seeking too.
You’re Not an Outsider
When you first go to a new place or try a new thing, it’s easy to think that everyone there is familiar with each other. An example of this is, you’re trying to lose weight and you join a gym in your area. It would be easy to come into your first fitness class and assume that most of the participants there have been to the class for some time and that they are familiar with the instructor and their classmates in the room with them.
You may even feel that you’re on the outside of the group a little on the first day there. For some people, this can trigger feelings that you’re back in high school, trying to impress the popular ones in the classroom. While these feelings are normal, they’re not necessarily accurate in how it really is in the room at all with everyone.
The truth is people are always interested in other people that are doing the same thing particularly if you are new in the room. Someone may notice that you are new in the room but they could be a little shy themselves in coming up to you on your first day to say “hi” to you. Just like you, the other participants in your fitness class are stretching outside of their comfort zone, too.
Get Outside of Your Head
The biggest mistake you can make when trying something new is to spend the whole time in your own head. If you are in your head make friends with those inner voices, thank them and clear the space in there too. Breathe slowly and deeply, step forward and get into solutions. Put your focus on reaching out to other people around you. Compliment someone else’s shoes or ask where they found that dress. These can be great ‘ice breakers’ particularly if you don’t know anyone.
Don’t do this with an agenda. Agendas are boring many will say and they can come across as rehearsed. Simply show interest in those around you and ask questions. You can ask where someone works, how they got started in their chosen profession or hobby, what their plans are for the future. And breathe your way through.
Avoid asking too many questions right in a row. It can make other people feel like they’re being quizzed. Instead, ask a question and pause for a response. Sometimes, the person you’re talking to will ask you the same or a different question in return. It’s possible that the conversation will take a different direction after your question but don’t fret. Just go with it and enjoy the moment.
Focus on Relationship
If you’re at a professional function, it can be easy to make your conversations all about your business. But most of the time people won’t care about your business until they feel you care about them.
So, focus on making friends and new connections. You never know how you can be of great assistance to one another. Maybe invite the other person to go out for a coffee and it's okay if you're like me and drink water rather than coffee. It's about getting together in a casual manner. Be open to being socially connected before you are professionally connected in some way. Trust that you are always where you need to be, so keep learning what you need to and try and enjoy the process as much as you can too.
As you get involved in new activities and pursue new goals, don’t try to go the new road alone. Get to know other people around you. Take an interest in their lives and look for potential friendships that you can nurture. You never know where these new relationships will lead. New relationships have the potential to open a whole new avenue for you and for your future.
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