Life isn’t the sweetest candy. Sometimes, when you feel like the world is just too heavy, you look around and find people who continue to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into your mind like bubbles from nowhere – “How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy, challenging or stressful life?” Then pause and observe for a while… You may figure out that maybe, they started to work on a place called ‘self.’
So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.
A theology professor once said that “loving means accepting.” To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve your repertoire to recover from your mistakes. You are perfect with your perceived imperfections and mistakes. What are these so called mistakes - misguided, inexperienced, or mistook? As I accept what is I regain a state of health, mind or strength.
Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly content, you realize you may not need all these material things or external validations to be happy. You may even realize you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy.” But then you ask yourself, how do I actually do this or be that genuinely happy being in this world?
When we discover a small start and opening, somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and then onto something further. But if you keep questioning life like it has never done you any good, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.
Life has been about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, winning and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person’s life has become as abundant and as necessary as air. But this should not hinder you from becoming happy.
How to be genuinely happy in spite of all of these? I can tell you… every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, failing in an exam and trying again, life gives you extra points for doing that.
Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot,” instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try it out. We could have won!”
Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life don’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best.
So, how do you become genuinely happy?
Everyone has his own definition of ‘happiness.’ Happiness for a writer may mean launching as many best selling books as possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean getting a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean success. So, really now, how do you become genuinely happy? Simple. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. It’s about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistakes and telling yourself “Oh, I’ll do better next time,” you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere and that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try. After each standing review, recalibrate, celebrate, then stand up again ... this can make you a genuinely happy person.
When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy.” For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.
Again, throw me that same question “how to become genuinely happy?” I’ll refer you to a friend of mine who strongly quoted - “Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pains. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over self. Coz then you don’t just become happy… you become free.”
Becoming Free.
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P.S. Those extra sprinkles of happiness are available from us on our robynandkarla site, simply go online. If you're in New Zealand we still have a limited supply of books, journals and a bonus of inspirational cards which have just been printed and can be delivered to your door. Simply reply to this email and put in your request. If you are reading this as a blog contact Robyn - robyn@robynhodgecoaching.com
Beautiful Days to You!
Love in Light
Robyn and Karla
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